Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Orientation of it All

-- Why must a homosexual male be attracted to masculinity just because he's attracted to other biological males? --


I consistently hear the following statement (in terms of gay men here): "What is the point of liking men if he looks like a girl?"

I hear this on the street. In classes. In deep late-night discussions. From men; from women. From heterosexuals; from homosexuals. From all sorts of people from all different places in life.

This is always a rather puzzling statement, or argument as some use it, to me. Since when is sexual orientation dependent on masculinity or femininity? Since when does it have anything to do with masculinity and femininity?

I understand the idea of personal taste, of which sexual orientation is obviously a part. Preferences. Tastes. Likes & Dislikes. These are only natural I agree.

Some people prefer, or are physically attracted to, others of the male biological sex and some the female biological sex and some any manner of other people. Check. Some people are attracted to "masculine" men, some to "masculine" women, some to "feminine" women, some to "feminine" men, some to people that reject the idea of rigid "femininities" & "masculinities." (As a note, I am one of the later). Check.

The part that I find confusing is how these two sets of preferences (biological sex and attributes of so-called "masculinity & femininity") have become so closely intertwined; so close that people do not see the difference and pass judgement on them interchangeably.

When did that happen? How did that happen? Why did that happen?

I could care less how each person feels. Preferences are inherently personal and only apply to the individual that claims them. To each there own, you might say. No matter who you are, you can like whatever and whomever you would like.

To the point: Keep in mind that neither of these basic preferences is a blanket for all people. People are different. Every single one of them. I know that boggles your mind and you cannot process all these people without these boxes. Get over it. You don't need to understand and process everything. Let people be who they want.

So, in terms of the first question that I always hear: The point of liking a guy who looks like a girl is that he is biologically male. Masculine, feminine, or anything else has no affect on that. Those are different preferences, just like his religion, his beliefs, his humor, his personality, his life, all the other determinants in looking for a romantic partner.

Stop putting them together. You sound ignorant. You spread hate. Stop it.


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