Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Fight Back (I sincerely wish)

My brother found this video some time ago. Him and his crazy vegetarianism! We are not a like at all.

I find this amusing (as I believe it was intended) but also as very moving. I can only wish that something like this would happen one day. No one would question a cow fighting for its own life. Would they? If the cow had a gun you wouldn't.

I want to meet the cow guru.

**Not meant to offend anyone.**

Life in the Complexity

Life is often a search for clarity. For understanding and truth.

This is true for many, many people. Religion, beliefs, philosophy, even science, all were created and are practiced in a search for clarity. Humans strive for it. Very few are content with the simplicities that we all possess. We want to know more, to understand more, to find the clarity.

I myself am very much a part of this. My whole life has been in search of clarity. I am constantly looking for understanding and growth. I am not trying to say this is a bad thing, in fact, I think it is a positive thing. I am just relaying how it is in my world.

While, at this point in my life, I feel more grounded, more sure, more clear on who I am in in certain aspects, the more I grow and the more questions I answer about myself, the more new questions pop up.

Recently, I have taken this too hard and have been consumed with thoughts like "maybe there is no answer," "maybe I can't find myself," "maybe there isn't anything to find," and "why do I even try?" Complexity was always the enemy, and clarity the goal.

I have stopped these thoughts. Complexity is as much a part of my life as the clarity. Finding who I am is as much a search for my complexities as it is for my truths. I will always keep trying to find myself, keep trying to understand things and grow. But I will not ignore and challenge the complexities to do this. I will bask in them, and let them help me find what I want.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Orientation of it All

-- Why must a homosexual male be attracted to masculinity just because he's attracted to other biological males? --


I consistently hear the following statement (in terms of gay men here): "What is the point of liking men if he looks like a girl?"

I hear this on the street. In classes. In deep late-night discussions. From men; from women. From heterosexuals; from homosexuals. From all sorts of people from all different places in life.

This is always a rather puzzling statement, or argument as some use it, to me. Since when is sexual orientation dependent on masculinity or femininity? Since when does it have anything to do with masculinity and femininity?

I understand the idea of personal taste, of which sexual orientation is obviously a part. Preferences. Tastes. Likes & Dislikes. These are only natural I agree.

Some people prefer, or are physically attracted to, others of the male biological sex and some the female biological sex and some any manner of other people. Check. Some people are attracted to "masculine" men, some to "masculine" women, some to "feminine" women, some to "feminine" men, some to people that reject the idea of rigid "femininities" & "masculinities." (As a note, I am one of the later). Check.

The part that I find confusing is how these two sets of preferences (biological sex and attributes of so-called "masculinity & femininity") have become so closely intertwined; so close that people do not see the difference and pass judgement on them interchangeably.

When did that happen? How did that happen? Why did that happen?

I could care less how each person feels. Preferences are inherently personal and only apply to the individual that claims them. To each there own, you might say. No matter who you are, you can like whatever and whomever you would like.

To the point: Keep in mind that neither of these basic preferences is a blanket for all people. People are different. Every single one of them. I know that boggles your mind and you cannot process all these people without these boxes. Get over it. You don't need to understand and process everything. Let people be who they want.

So, in terms of the first question that I always hear: The point of liking a guy who looks like a girl is that he is biologically male. Masculine, feminine, or anything else has no affect on that. Those are different preferences, just like his religion, his beliefs, his humor, his personality, his life, all the other determinants in looking for a romantic partner.

Stop putting them together. You sound ignorant. You spread hate. Stop it.

Friday, December 18, 2009


I am not a particularly superstition person. I do not follow the signs, or moods, or whatever of the moon. I do not read fate, magic, or stuff being meant-to-be into every situation. And I do not religiously follow my horoscope.

This does not mean I am above such things, however. I do enjoy the feeling of something larger, something magical, something meant-to-be at certain times.

There is an app on my iPod Touch for horoscopes. In the large scheme I rarely use it. But, at times, I do enjoy to read what it has to say (there are many sub categories of horoscope available). When I read them I do find it amusing, or at least a little special, when they coincide well with my life.

For instance.

Today, Fridays, 'scopes are as follows for me (the interesting ones anyway):

Quickie: "Your balance is off. Keep a low profile until you've got your equilibrium back." True.
Love: "The secret to successful dating is realizing that your happiness is entirely in your own hands -- not someone else's." True. And something I have been struggling a lot with lately.
Astroslam (lol): "If you're obsessed with figuring everything out, you run the risk of missing the point entirely. Relax." True. Again a struggle.

Nothing that spectacular, you say. True. Mundane and even typical and bland really. Never the less, they do coincide with my life as it is right now. I take that for what I will. There is a somewhat nice feeling in reading them, however. No point in denying that.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Beach!

Here's my video from my COLD trip to Ocean Shores, WA.

*If you click it and watch ON my YouTube channel you count as a "view." That would be kindly appreciated, not to mention FABULOUS! :)

There are many more videos on my YouTube channel! Watch, Subscribe, Enjoy! <3

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

PIGGIES! - A Life Update

So I know you are all dying to know what is going on in my life; don't even try to deny it. So here we go!

I am sitting here waiting for my newest video, Beach!, to upload. Can you guess what it is about? Here, I will help you, it is about the BEACH! Wow, amazing I know. Anyway it is just the randomness that was my freezing cold trip to Ocean Shores, WA on my recent trip to Seattle. The wind was howling SO loud that you could not here a word I said, but fear not, I made some lovely insights in a voice-over from my warm and cozy desk at home. The video also features (for the first time EVER; yeah, that's right, EVER) my new promo/opener/what-cha-ma-callit for PronounMe. It is rather drab actually, but I am just getting used to and learning the whole editing software thing, so give me a break. I am already working on a new one actually, go figure! Until then, enjoy what you got!

I had a lovely time over Thanksgiving break. For those of you who *pay attention, (WAKE UP!) I took a trip with my family out to see my grandparents in Seattle, WA. The trip was not super eventful (minus the Beach! and a trip to Columbia Center, the tallest building in Seattle, both of which will be featured in videos shortly so that y'all can see) but it was nice to see family. We had a wonderful, and mostly vegan, Thanksgiving dinner. It was quite fantabulous as always. I have pictures I should share...

- This is all the food (actually not all but most) after I tried to stuff it on my
plate. I didn't have room :(. It was all delicious! And notice, NO TURKEY! No Tofurkey either, I can't stand that stuff. But yes it was all very yummy. I am sad
we did not get to take the leftovers...

I am listening to an amazing song by Alex Day at the moment, Holding On. I love it. He is special special. But that was an interjection...

Nothing else out of the ordinary has happened too recently. I am very close to either killing or leaving the At&t Monster, as I now call it. Basically, if you really want to talk to me DON'T call me. I won't see your call coming in and probably won't get the message till a few hours later. It is madness I tell you! So yeah, text me if you need to, or find me online somewhere. Cellphones are dead. Lol, well at least until I deal with the At&t Monster.

I have recently become aware that there are a large number of pictures on my phone that I have been meaning to blog about, so look for those in the near future. And keep an eye out for my awesome videos! They are slowly getting better, I hope.

Much love to you all! I hope you all had a fantabulous and fantastical December 1st!


*Guess what! If you actually DO pay attention, and read this before, well... to very long, then write me comment/tweet me/facebook me/something to get my attention. Then bi-goli (sp) I owe you a sweet something! Yes, I know you are writing your fingers off as we, or I, speak.

World Aids Day (RED)

Today is World Aids Day. Help support (RED) and overcome HIV/AIDS in Africa and around the world. Show your support today by lighting up (RED) in your city and on your sites. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, YouTube. Turn them all (RED)!

Continue to support the cause by purchasing (RED) this holiday season! Global fund helps HIV/AIDS victims around the world. If you buy (RED) you can help too!

PronounMe is (RED)!

Check out the World Aids Day video! Only on the PronounMe YouTube channel!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Pic of Love (III)

Pic of Love (II)

I am going to get a Tea Cup Pig

So I just found these adorable ADORABLE creatures. I have always wanted to adopt a pig, one, to save them and two, because they are so cute, sweet and smart.

When I found these tiny tea cup pictures I immediately knew that someday I will get one! They are just so adorable and make wonderful pets. And they stay relatively small. Just look at these pictures and tell me you wouldn't want one...

Give them a reason to be Thankful!

**Caution** **Caution**

Have compassion and love in your heart. Do not kill for an hour of enjoyment. Break against society and STOP the bloodshed.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Gentle Thanksgiving


I found this wonderful website earlier today. Goes along with everything I have been saying in regards to thanksgiving.

Be thankful, kind and compassionate this holiday. Let the Turkeys live; I guarantee you, they will be thankful.

Some of the big points from the site (and the movement).

Reasons to not kill Turkeys for a human holiday:


For the Animals

Abusing and killing an innocent bird betrays the life-affirming spirit of giving thanks for our life, health, and happiness. The nearly 300 million turkeys killed each year in the U.S. spend their entire lives crammed in large sheds with little room to move. Artificially inseminated and selectively bred to gain enormous amounts of weight, they suffer heart attacks, broken limbs, lameness, and death from their genetically-induced accelerated growth rate. Most of these same conditions apply to "free range" turkeys.


For Your Health

Turkey flesh is loaded with cholesterol and saturated fats, which have been linked conclusively with an elevated risk of heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes, and other chronic diseases that kill 1.3 million Americans annually. Turkey flesh is also contaminated with deadly pathogens and antibiotics.


For the Globe

In addition to threatening personal health, factory farming is a global problem. Much of the 10 billion pounds of manure generated by 7,300 turkey farms in 33 states ends up in our drinking water. Grain fed to turkeys is denied to millions of starving people in the world's most impoverished nations.


Just think about how little you need to give up and how much they will gain. One meal for a life. I don't think that is a fair trade.

My heart goes out to all the Turkeys who have lost their lives for this bloody holiday. <3

*Important Changes*

After recent posts and the incredible backlash that I have had to deal with from them, I am making several changes.

1) My personal Facebook is now offline. Permanently. Or at least in the close for-see-able future. This is in an attempt on my part to control my personal opinions and ideals. Which I apparently need to do. While it may cause a slight communication gap, it is in no way closing communication with me. If you need to talk to me, see what is going on in my life, or whatever, you have access to 1) my Twitter, 2) my blog, 3) my YouTube channel, 4) the PronounMe facebook account, 5) my cellphone, and 6) my emails. They have all been linked before (with the exception of my cell number and personal email) so put in some effort and go look for them.


2) Under necessity, I will be putting warnings on certain posts. The PronounMe Facebook, I will try to keep as impartial as possible and try to avoid hurting anyones feelings. It will also have connections on a much broader level. This blog will still have all kinds of posts. Ones that I feel may offend certain people, hurt sensibilities, or whatever will have CAUTION warnings in the title and start of the post. Please stop at these warnings if you don't want a read that may offend you. If you proceed through warnings then do not complain if you are hurt. My Twitter account is unable to be censored as it is so short, so just assume that the entire account has CAUTION on it. Although, in the big scheme it is usually fairly tame. My YouTube channel will also have warnings in the description bar. Moral of the story: read descriptions and titles and be aware that things may offend you. Don't read if you can't handle it.

I am sorry if this seems somewhat over-kill. But I am tired and have been thrown over the edge by people ripping into me for things that I say. Whether it is argument or not, I am tired of feeling like shit because many of my opinions do not align with the general populous.

I hope this helps protect delicate sensibilities.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

John Mayer - Battle Studies

John Mayer - Battle Studies
If you have not purchased or listened to this album... well... just go take a listen. NOW. It is purely magical. Purely. I am in love.


Yay Spock!

I love him :) Yes, yes I do. It is totally logical.

Btw, I totally have his Spock shirt :) Yay!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Life Update

So, wow, I just looked at things and realized it has been a while since I have updated things. Can you tell it has been a busy week? Yes, yes it has.

Although it is a good point to suggest you all follow me on Twitter ( I update that a whole lot more! It is much faster. And you don't have to read as much of my boringness. Yay! So ya, enough of that little promo.
Life, recently, has been somewhat rocky. Not gonna lie. I have, at least I feel, reinvented my life, or at least tried to. I have devoted my life to truly being me, no matter what others think, as well as trying to love everyone at least a little. For the most part this has been ok. But it also seems to have plunged me into some bad feelings. Not because I dislike these choices, but because of hardships that have surfaced because of them.

For one, I feel like I have separated, or am slowly moving apart, from a very large extent of my close friends and past support network. I have now somewhat come to terms with this. A major issue is that, even though they have helped me through so very much, and I am so very greatful, the ones I have talked to don't really understand the things I am going through now and so struggle to support me. And many others I have just not talked to (or talked to only about their problems). And this is ok, I guess. Just means that I need to find a different network to help me through these new things (if such people exist).

Not that I will, or ever would, truly leave the wonderful friends in my life. I just feel that we have moved to a different level together. I am not being clear. Lets change the subject.

One quick note though, on the loving everyone idea. For the most part that is true. But don't take that to mean I really love everyone. I do have a limit. And people can easily throw away my love for them by what they do. I do not love the haters, I pity them. And I do truly hate some people, like the idiots who sat around watching that girl get raped in California. But then again, they cannot be classified as truly human. So there we go. Moral of the story though: I love you, but don't push me.

To concentrate on the high points (not high that way!) or at least the parts that have made me feel a little better: I got my haircut the other day! Yay! I know you are all excited. It has blue purple in it! I will try to get a picture. Also, I found another amazing pair of jeans at Savers the other day! And hopefully tomorrow will be going out to get some new stuff for my trip. And then of course I have had a few times of shoe shopping! Didn't buy anything, but trying them on always makes me feel so much better.

And then best of all, on Sunday I leave for Seattle!I love that city so damn much. I will blog a whole more about that when I get out there. But basically I am super super stoked! Hopefully, it will pull me out of these crappy feelings I have been stuck in recently.

Ok I am done with this post for now. I will update a little more since I will have some free time this next week. But again, Twitter guys. Even if you don't have one, you can see my latest Tweets in the side bar ---->>


Monday, November 16, 2009

Loss & Abandonment

"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend; I can't make you stay. I can't spend another ten years wishing you would anyway.... You won't see me anymore."

Useless Desires by Patty Griffin

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Pic of Love (I)

I decided we need more love in this world. So I am going to constantly be on the search for fun, meaningful, and full of love pictures. And guess what?! They will all end up here. I know you are excited!

Here is number one!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Random Thoughts on Society

New Video!

The PronounMe Universe

Make sure to add, follow, watch, subscribe, stalk, and interact with the entire PronounMe Universe!

You are now at the main blog/ website so I will not share that link ;)

Follow "Me" on Twitter:

Add "Me" on Facebook:

Watch, Rate, and Subscribe to the PronounMe YouTube Channel:

PronounMe thanks you! We will now proceed to change the world and obliterate hate!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Inner Thought

My new saying and path in life is "Find Yourself. Be Yourself. Love Yourself."

While I have felt in the past that I have moved from different stages in this saying, I now feel that I am still within the "Find Yourself" segment. Parts of myself are solidly formed and will never changed. And in certain matters I am very set in myself, but not in every way. I am working on this now and have re-devoted myself to inner thought. Hopefully this will help me reclaim some happiness.

A major problem I continually run into, and dislike myself for, is the need for someone else. I want more than anything to be a self fulfilling person, who can be strong, happy, and make change in the world with just me, not dependent on any one else. I have tried hard to get there. Continually. And I always will. But I cannot seem to move past the desire or yearning for at least some one to share my life changes with; some one to help become a strong and independent person; some one to be truly interested in my life and who I can share an interest in theirs; someone who will hold me tight when hard times come, 'cause I know they will; just someone to be with.

I am always looking for this person. I sincerely hope they are out there.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Similarity vs. Conformity

I do not hate similarities or encourage you to live without them. Just be careful they are not used to exclude people or to spread hate. Spread love instead! Head to YouTube channel to comment, rate, and subscribe! * *

Clarity Disrupted

So my brother saw the new bag I purchased, this morning. And he said a few things that I have been lost in thought about ever since. He was very supportive as always so it is not about that at all. But eventually we got into the point in our discussion of it where he said: "It was designed for a woman." He said that we can change who wears it and what people think but not that it was "designed for a woman." Or a man on the other hand. This statement made me think.

My first reaction was anger and I wanted to jump into defense mode. But I stopped myself so that I had more time to think. Our conversation fizzled out, but I am still pondering what he said. It makes me uncomfortable and do not want that to be true, but I have a feeling that it might be. I am not sure what to think, or how to counteract this observation.

My deep thoughts on the subject, at least as of now, have been to no avail. So I am putting the subject out here so that hopefully I can find some clarity on it, and hopefully someone will comment and give me their opinion on this. I see trouble for PronounMe if I cannot get past this.

Please comment.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


The Way to Happiness (Repost!)

Resposted "The Way to Happiness" Video.

Join & Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel:

Monday, November 9, 2009

Notice the change?

Ok, so I know I have been making a lot of changes recently to all this online stuff. And I know you are all pissed and what not; sorry for the annoyance. I have been moving and working on evolving all of my online presence so that it all works together, allows me to reach more people, be who I really want to be, and inspire and inform people to create some change.

On that note... the final change in my master plan is now underway! I have changed all of my online presence names (from the variety that they were) to PronounMe.

PronounMe comes from the fact that the only pronoun that I truly represent is me. The only person I truly represent is me. Nothing else. While I may identify and use other pronouns, the only true on is "me." Really for anyone. This is the message I am trying to spread: Be Yourself. So yes, that is my new name. My Twitter and Blog have both been updated completely (hopefully you noticed) and now I am creating a new and updated YouTube channel to be synced in. This is taking a little longer, sorry for that.

My new channel is up!

* *

Make sure to go THERE and subscribe and view. Discard the Voycon channel (it will be deleted shortly). PronounMe Channel does not have any videos up at the moment (as uploading takes a bit) but I will get them all up soon. All old ones will be there as well as some new!

In the mean time, posts to this blog containing vlog posts will not work. Sorry for this also. As soon as I get all the vids up again I will repost all of these.

Thanks! And I appreciate you hanging in there while I work through all this.

Luv you all!

*Blog Exclusive* - Support vs. Protection: Dealing with Hate

*Not on YouTube OR Facebook*

Here's my new video about the difference, in my opinion, between support and protection. I never asked for anyone's protection, because at the moment (and through all these past events) I haven't needed it. If I need it I will ask for it. I love support, but offers for physical (and epecially violent) protection irk me. Hate + Hate does NOT yield positive change. Therefore I do not support physical violence in respond to hate.

Hate is the easy way out of any situation. It is simple, it is powerful, and it is strong. But it also shows peoples lack of understanding (of the world and themselves) and shows there own discomfort with other people being who they want to be. Hate is their problem! Don't ever think that hate is your problem if you receive it. Whoever gives hate is the one who has to deal with it; and it is harmful to them.

Overcome hate, not by getting violent and punching people, but by smiling and showing that the hate they try to use DOES NOT affect you in the least. This is where true strength is shown.

Hate is easy; Stay away from it; Always smile

**Sorry for the long load time...

My New Purse

This is how I do a purse! That's right y'all. I find it fabulous (although I am slowly altering it already). What do you think? Oh wait, thats right, I love it and thats all that matters! :)

Don't forget to keep an eye out for my new video chronicling all the new things I bought (and more!!)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Word "Fabulous"

My new video: "Fabulous."

What do you think?!

The True Meaning of Diversity

So this is one of those true blog random thought moments. But an event happened today that really made me think and angered me to say the least.

As I was walking on campus today (as most of my stories now start) there was a small rally of people talking about diversity (at least from what I could tell). The majority of them were not caucasian. As I walked though them I heard one of them say:

“What the hell does a white man know about diversity?”

The statement was not directed at me, but just something a few of the people there were talking about. I just kept walking, but as I went back to my car I thought about his statement and my anger grew.

I know very well that as a white male I am fairly high on our society’s chain. Caucasians are very much in a better spot and males are too. This is another thing that has always irked me about society, but that is not the meaning of this post. Through society’s warped ways people are placed into boxes based on different aspects of themselves, and then these boxes are placed in order of importance on society’s shelf. Not a pleasant way of it; but that is how society operates; for now.

So even though some of the boxes I am placed in are high up (like being male and white) there are others that are much lower (very close to the bottom in fact). My sexual orientation and gender expression for example. In many ways I lean more towards the feminine side in my actions, and for that I am put down and sneered at. *This of course also proves the bad rap that women get; but, not to insult women in the least, a man (at least how society defines one) who exhipits more “feminine” qualities is valued a lot less than a women. This is because “feminine” actions are considered inferior to begin with and society has brainwashed everyone to hate a man who shows them.*

But I digress…

I am not even arguing or trying to prove that I am in a worse place than others (such as the people of different ethnicities at the rally today). **Although I will say one thing to that argument: No other minority is denied things by LAW. Just saying.** But when did diversity become only understood by people in a minority situation. Diversity is about difference and unique qualities of people. This can mean ethnicity (as it often is used to mean) but hundreds of other things as well: social economic status, sex, gender expression, sexual orientation, interests, clothing expression, dietary choices, ANYTHING THAT MAKES PEOPLE UNIQUE. Everyone is diverse, because every single person is slightly different. THIS is the true meaning of diversity.

In conclusion, I feel like saying a “white man” knows nothing of diversity is showing a lack of knowledge of the true meaning of diversity. Anyone can know about diversity by just looking into themselves and seeing how they are wonderfully unique.

Sorry that was so long; I have strong feelings on this matter. Let me know what you all think.


**Careful what you say; ‘cause I hear you, and I WILL write about you!**

My Friends Are Amazing

Recently I have been feeling very down on humanity. On the way they treat each other; on the horrible things they do.

But in the last few days I have been reminded of one thing that makes humans so amazing. And I do not mean everyone by this statement, but only a very select few people. Several of my closest friends are this kind of person.

Shit happens to people. It does. It is one of the worst parts of our society and one of the things I detest about humanity. The things we do to others. While it is horrible, bad things do bring out amazing things in people.

I have recently felt the strongest feelings of pride, respect and sheer love for my friends for the INCREDIBLE strength they show every single day. Whether it is recovering from terrible past experiences or going through present cruelties, they stand strong against it all! And while they struggle they are constantly succeeding; more than they even know.

I am reminded by these people that the bad people in the world truly have no power over us. They cannot bring us down. They cannot force us to change or be unhappy. Because we are stronger; we are better than them.

Anyone and everyone that overcomes the crap people in the world to be stronger, happier, and better people deserve and have my eternal love and respect! I am so proud to know all of you. You inspire me every single day.

*Stay Fabulous!*

Saturday, November 7, 2009

And We're Back!

Ok, so yes, I did start this whole blogging thing very recently; and yes, I have now moved back and forth several times. Get used to it people! That is just me!

Tumblr was not really working for me for several reasons: 1) it wouldn't connect to my Twitter; 2) video posts were very limited and so I have to upload to youtube anyway; and 3) I am not really sure the whole comment thing was really working. Plus some other stuff.

SO... the Doyle Element is back to where we are. Yes, the fabulous has moved. It is now back here! But there are several key changes and new stuff (yay!):

I have gotten really into this whole video blogging thing 'cause I think it is fun and lets you see even MORE into my fabulous life ;)

So, to the best of my ability this blog will be linked with my YouTube Channel:

That way you can all see my fun videos!

My Twitter and Facebook are now integrated into the blog as well. You can view my Tweets in the bar on the right <--- (Which is cool since very few of you have Twitter and so this way you can see little tidbits into my life without having to get an account). The Facebook badge, also on the right, will bring you to my page (add me all!). And even better, for those of you on Facebook that are all too lazy to head over here, you can view my blog posts DIRECTLY from Facebook in the "Blogcast" tab at the top. You should till come here though since you cannot see my tweets or any of the amazing things I will be adding to the page in the next few weeks; and you will be linked here anyway if you want to actually be involved!

It is MUCH easier for you all to comment here, than on Tumblr. There is a comment box under ALL posts. Use it. There are also three "check boxes" under each post with names: "Love It," "OMG," and "Hate It." You can use those for quick, fun reactions and feedback. On all videos yo can comment on the post here (links) or on my YouTube channel if you wish. Either is fun. I really hope you all will comment on things you find interesting if you have time. That makes this whole thing more fun! I get a lot of feedback on stuff on Facebook and I'd love if I could bring some of that here, for non-facebookers, and because it is a little bit more personal.

That is all I have to rant about for now! I will be linking all my latest videos and posts soon.

Hope you enjoy the "new" space! Luv you all!

Stay Fab!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

It hurts...

How do you get someone to notice you? Like even in the slightest. The normal methods are not working. But he seems so amazing. I want to get to know him.

This is typical though; falling for the guy that completely ignores me. I don't understand. Why does my heart do this to me? Or is the brains fault? I don't know, but whoever is at fault needs to stop it. It hurts.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Networking Pictures

Random thoughts come to me all the time. Usually they end up on Twitter. But anyway, I was thinking earlier how amazing it is how much pressure is put on pictures for social dating sites.

I have plenty of them, and recently, completely by accident, I did a little experiment. I had one picture up (nothing bad; get your mind out of that gutter!) for a long time. Well, a few months. And had had no real response at all. I didn't really realize or mind this since the internet is just secondary anyway, more for fun. And I was just too busy to even update it.

So then the other day, I changed my picture to a different one (still not dirty!). It was basically the same. I mean not spectacular. And yet, I got five new messages THAT DAY. I was like, wow. Either that is a crazy coincidence or my first picture really really really sucked.

Just made me think.... hmmm kinda scary really

Lights - Saviour

Amazing band! I love Lights. Check 'em out! This is the video for the song "Saviour"

Love it! Her new CD is out now too! Go get it!

Friday, October 16, 2009

3 Pillars of Online-ness

So just thinking here... (as I am bored with nothing to do; LAST time for that for a while)... there now seems to be three pillars of my online presence.

1) Facebook - well obviously. The oldest pillar. Just got stats on my profile (well status' mostly) and found that I have written 654 status' since my first one, 451 days ago. This wowed me. Not that is surprising that it is that high, I do spend my life online after all. But status' on facebook are all insights to my thoughts, emotions, and life. Crazy to look back at them...

2) Blog- Thats right! This here written thing that is updated...not often enough, and is super... well, boring I guess... But still represents things going on in my life. And when I get into the habit of working on it more (and maybe have a life with more to write about) it will be a larger pillar.

3) Twitter - And finally the newest one. Yes, I reactivated my twitter acount. While I, as well as everyone seems like, think Twitter is relatively stupid, it is nice as a place to get my status-ing out of me. When I find some music clip, some passing emotion, some awesome insight, or weird observation, I put it on Twitter. Bonus is, I know like 3 people on there (and they never us it) so my tweets are mostly ignored. So it is just a calming thing for me. Nice!

*** Tip: You wanna know what is really going on inside my crazy head? Check out my Twitter. Not nearly as censored as all this other stuff. Think of it as Connor *UNRATED* hahahaha Check me out:

Monday, October 12, 2009

Time for a new Definition.

I have always known, and people always remind me, that I will change the kind of person I am many times throughout my life. Now feels like one of those times.

I truthfully love my life (mostly) and have a blast with whatever I do. But overall I feel stuck in a major rut.
- I feel like I am constantly busy, but I have nothing to show for my "busyness."
- I am constantly consumed by a sense of loneliness in this world.
- My contribution to the betterment of the human race is practically zero.
- One of my most used phrases is "I wish I had that skill."

I think it is time to change all of this. Not sure exactly how but I am making a non-new years resolution that I will fix this. Fix my life.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Wow, I fail at keeping up with this. Ten days. Booooo. Bad me.

Weird thing too, and something I have been pondering a lot recently: What do I actually do? Like on a day to day basis. When I meet people I always get that question: "What do you like to do?" And every time I struggle to think of how to answer. That can't be right. Shouldn't that be one of those things that rolls of the tongue immediately after asked??

What do you think? If I ask you what you like to do, would you have an immediate answer? have to think about it? WRITE COMMENTS PEOPLE! Yes.

I will sit here working on calculus until you do....

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Welcome to the first day of October. And it came in with a deceivingly cold, windy and drab day. It looked nice though. The leaves have started to change, which is always pretty; but I am still not ready for fall and coldness.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

New Music Today!

iTunes has "New Music Tuesdays." I decided that I want something similar. However, I know very well that I am not put together enough to publish something about my new music on any regular basis, whether that is every week or every year. So I have created New Music Today! Therefore, whichever day I publish it will be the right day. And everyone will cheer! (I can hope can't I?)

So here it goes... These are the albums I have downloaded recently. Yes there are a lot, it has been a big month :) DON'T JUDGE!

Lifehouse - Who We Are

Meiko - Meiko

Original Soundtrack from "Between Love & Goodbye"

Colbie Caillat - Breakthrough

Delphinium Blue - The Secret Life of Boys

Julien-K - Death to Analog

Madonna - Confessions on a Dancefloor

Cage the Elephant - Cage the Elephant

Paramore - Brand New Eyes

Mariah Carey - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel

New Phone

Yep it is true! I finally got the much awaited cell phone upgrade today! After giving my brother my new phone a few months ago (that I only sorta liked anyway) when his phone died, I now finally stole his upgrade to get a new phone that I wanted. Exciting I know! So far, I love it. All five hours of it ;)

I got the LG Xenon from At&t. It is not the phone I have wanted for like ever! But that one needs a hefty data plan so this was the next best thing. It is a touch screen slider with a full QWERTY keyboard. It is super nice for texting. My thumbs are learning quickly, although they have to move much further to get to the keys LOL. It is fun though. I love getting new toys :) I am sure there will be more posts revolving around the phone. Especially as it is basically attached to my body.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Birthday Celebration!

Today is my best Buddy Tyler's Birthday! YAY! I know you are stalking this post Tyler so just wanted to say Happy Birthday in case you deleted my crazy email (I wouldn't blame you lol). AND I found these cute things to post... so here's to you Tyler! Welcome to Seventeen :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I think I may have an addiction to posting videos. Or maybe just YouTube searching. Anyway, I found this movie and loved it!! Probably the funniest thing ever. As well as being super cute and amazing and sweet and yeah basically fabulous. Loved it all around! I recommend everyone see it!! If you would like to I'd be happy to loan it to you :)

Health Care Video -

Can you say hilarious?! I laughed so hard at this video. Which, I guess in reality is really sad. But this video has a great message and delivers it in a great way. Maybe if more people see it they will come to their senses!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Fall has descended...

Let me just start by saying that today was freezing!! True, there was no snow, and not even that much rain. But the first cold fall day after summer is always sad. I woke up this morning, looked outside, and thought: "What is this?! It is summer!!." Then I realized it is mid september. Which is still summer!!! But getting later...
I am not ready for fall to start. I love the changing colors and I especially love being able to change wardrobes and start wearing fun new clothes. And omg scarves! But still, I want summer to stay.

*one moment while I get distracted shopping for scarves (not that this is live or anything)*

The cold brings sad feelings normally. It always makes me wish there was someone warm to hug me. If such a person were around I would probably love cold weather! But until then I sit here lonely blogging. Good fun! Ok.. I am done being emo. For the moment. Back to looking for scarves!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

So You Think You Can Dance! - Great Couple

I saw this on the premier of So You Think You Can Dance. After the controversy last year with same sex dance couples it was great to see the judges response to these two. And they are simply amazing I think. I love their dance. It has so much emotion. And I love the Adele song they chose too. Great all around! I hope they go far.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Epic Search for an Epic Sticker

The title says it all! I need an epic sticker to put on my laptop; actually, a lot more than one. So, everyone should go out and through their own mischievous ways FIND ME A STICKER. It needs to be cool. :)

True That!

My bestie friend Tyler, who made fun of my first post, reminded me in an email like three seconds ago that I have a major addiction to the phrase "true that!" I am slowly getting over it but it is not working so well. So if I say that, don't judge. TRUE THAT! or TRUE THIS! Both work...

Bits of Equality

This photo cracked me up! All I could think is "Love it!!"

Quicksand by Everly - Amazing

So I found this song a few days ago and it has literally become one of those had-it-on-repeat songs. Just as proof, I bought the song Monday (yes after having watched the season premier of One Tree Hill, don't judge) and as of right now the play count is 52. Make that 53 as I am listening to it this very moment.

Not sure what it is about Quicksand (although I tend to love everything Bethany Joy does; she is amazing!) but the lyrics are just enchanting and pull me in over and over again. They even made my Facebook status (not that difficult really) with the line: "they think your gone forever; I know the truth, it's just getting hard to believe it."

I found this youtube version of the entire song, however, you should all go buy it!! Everly is an amazing group and they need our support.

And it begins...

Wow, the title sounds so very ominous. Maybe I should change it. Nope. Anyway, this is the first post and therefore the beginning. Not really much to say about it. This post is boring. Ignore it.