Sunday, January 24, 2010


I have a tendency to proclaim things to the world. It goes well with my the-world-can-shove-it attitude. Things are so much easier when you put something out there and give the world an ultimatum: deal with me or shut the hell up. At least they are for me.

So, I proclaim things. It keeps me from having to really think about myself and what I want; both of which are really hard for me to do. Especially since I don't tend to "fit in," if that is even possible. I never have.

For the last few years I have taken the approach of always needing to fight. For me, and for others like me. I am not like you, well, I am going to fight until you get used to it. This way of things really has consumed me. Now I fight without thinking. I fight people that really are not against me; people I should never fight.

It is time for me to end both.

I should do things for me. Not for the world. Not to fit in. Not to give advice that I really know nothing of. The only say I have, the only experience I have is my own. I should not presume to think that anyone goes through the same things or is the same; so how can I give advice? I won't anymore; at least for the reasons I have in the past.

Who I am, who I want to be, what I like, and how I feel are of no consiquence to the world. They belong to me. I have control over them, and they belong to me. They are mine. I do not need to proclaim them, or even share them.

They are mine.

The fighting and antagonism is done. I don't need them. The world doesn't need more of them. I will stand up for me and protect me, but I will do so rationally, thoughtfully, and with full control of the reasons I am fighting.

It is time I live for me.



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